"Conjoined" vs "Valediction"

When I first wrote this essay I was not sure of what to exactly write about, so it quite hard to get started. I did a little bit of research on both of the authors and that helped me come up with ideas on what to write about. However, I did forget to point out the fact that one essay was written by a woman and the other one by a male; and how this can help explain their contrasting views on marriage. I tried to fit this idea into the essay, but I just can't seem to find a good spot to included at, and I just don't seem to have enough for a new body paragraph. My peers comments were very positive. The only thing they did point out was that I needed better transition in the paragraphs. I added more transitions, but I can't seem to be good with transitions just yet. I'm looking forward on editing this essay for the third time so I can add it to my portfolio.


The popular belief is true to much extent, because it is a special bond shared between two souls, who tie the wedding knot after promising to be companions for a lifetime. It is the physical, mental and spiritual unison of two souls. It brings significant stability and substance to human relationships, which is otherwise incomplete. However, a marriage is defined by each individual couple; the couple gives meaning to the word marriage. In John Donne’s “A Valediction: Forbidding Mourning,” the couple’s marriage is an eternal bond filled with happiness and indescribable love. On the other hand, in Judith Minty’s “Conjoined,” the speaker describes marriage as an unnatural and burdensome bond. In both poems, the authors use symbolism, metaphors, diction and similes to show their views on marriage.

Donne shows his meaning of love and marriage through metaphors, similes and symbolism. Donne wrote this poem to comfort his wife while he was in France in a business trip and she remained in England. Just like the title says, he did not want her to cry over their physical separation because this would cheapen their love and reduce it to the level of the ordinary. For example, Donne uses the metaphor, “So let us melt, and make no noise, no tear-floods, nor sight-tempest move, ‘twere profanation of our joys to tell the laity or our love.” In this, Donne treats their love as sacred, elevated above that of ordinary earthly lovers. He feels their love is transcendent and heavenly. That unlike common people who know only physical, earthly love, weep and sob when they separate for a time, for they dread the loss of physical closeness, their love will forever remain intact because their souls are one and no physical barrier can keep them apart. In addition, Donne uses the simile, “If they be two, they are two so as stiff twin compasses are two; thy soul, the fix foot, makes no show to move, but doth, if th’other do.” Here we see his insight into what he believes a marriage is. By comparing the spouses to the legs of the compass and marriage to the circle they make, he lets us know that without one of them there would be no marriage. That marriage is a bond they need to rely on each other and work together to make the marriage work. Furthermore, he goes on to say in lines 29-30, “And though it in the center sit, yet when the other far doth roam, it leans and hearkens after it, and grows erect, as that comes home,” that even when they are far apart, their love will stretch until one of the them (the leg of the compass) comes together and their love will grow erect and they will fall in love once again. Their souls will remain united- even though their bodies are separated- until he returns. Moreover, Donne also uses symbolism to express the quality of their love and marriage. He uses gold to represent their bond and relationship. Gold is a durable material that is used to represent union, just like in wedding rings; it represents everlasting love and unity. It is almost indestructible. This shows that Donne believes marriage to be a bond that should not be broken and that it is a pleasant happy institution. Also, gold is used to represent wealth and royalty. This is why he uses it to symbolize their love, because he believes their love to be above the common people. The connotation that gold gives to their love is one of everlasting glory and abundance.

On the other hand, we can say the complete opposite for Minty’s interpretation of marriage and her views on it. Minty also shares the same figurative techniques to show her bitter look on this institution. To start off, Minty uses an onion and onion peel to symbolize marriage and the spouses. Unlike Donne, she decides to use a symbol that will give marriage a bad connotation. She uses the metaphor, “The onion in my cupboard, a monster, actually two joined under one transparent skin; each half-round, then flat and deformed where it pressed and grew against the other,” to give the feeling that marriage is unnatural and rather uncomfortable. The “two onions” are the spouses and they are held together awkwardly by the “transparent skin” which would be marriage. Although, both poems represent the unity of marriage as unbreakable, Minty makes it seem almost painful, because she uses the onion to represent it, and as we all know onions can make you cry as soon as you cut them. Furthermore, she moves on to give an example of a rather weird, almost monstrous, as she would call it, event. She uses the simile of the calf, “An accident, like the two-headed calf rooted in one body, fighting to suck at its mother’s teats;” With this she says that marriage is a rather competitive bond, in which each spouse is trying to survive even if that means taking the other down. Minty also uses another simile to show another view of marriage: “-or like those other freaks, Chang and Eng, twins joined at the chest by skin and muscle, doomed to live, even make love, together for sixty years.” This simile is just a reminder of how unnatural bondage of marriage.

All in all, marriage is defined by the way a couple wants to express their feelings for each other. It is a shared independence that is only truly found once you meet the person that wants the same things as you do and for others it does not necessarily need to be that, it can be a physical connection, or a more heavenly one. In both Donne’s and Minty’s poems we can see contrasting views of what a marriage is, however, they do agree in something: marriage is an unbreakable bond that is meant to last forever.